How to Stop Giving Thoughts Power and Start Living Internally from a Place of Peace
We all have thoughts. We can't help it. And of the thousands of thoughts that we have on a daily basis, most of them just come and go without much impact on us at all one way or another. But we all have certain thoughts that really get to us. These thoughts don’t just feel like thoughts…they feel very true, very real, and they trigger within us deep insecurities that have sometimes been lying dormant for years.
So what do we tend to do? Well, we start to rev up our thinking. We get really up in our heads about them which leads to feeling strong emotions about them. These are the thoughts that tend to cause us anxiety. In this blog post, I want to explore with you what anxiety is at its core, what makes it worse and how to give it less power. Once you understand it and know how to effectively work with it you will find yourself less seduced by it and more naturally able to live internally from a place of inner peace, stillness, and confidence.
WHAT IS ANXIETY?
Anxiety is created through a repetitive focus on certain thoughts that you deem as scary, unacceptable, or in some way “not okay”. It’s not the thoughts themselves, or even the circumstances that the thoughts are about that cause the anxiety symptoms, but rather how you relate with and interact with those thoughts. The anxiety doesn’t even set in when you start analyzing and thinking about all the worst possible scenarios that could happen.
It happens when you tell yourself something about what that means if those things happen. And it’s always some version of how you won’t be able to handle something, or you won’t be okay or someone you love won’t be okay if X,Y or Z happens. And that’s when you start to try to figure out how to fix, change, or avoid the perceived threat. By doing so, you actually feed the fear…the anxiety. You give it power. You start to believe the thoughts that you are thinking and the inevitable pain you won’t be able to bear. This creates a story in your mind and before long, you are living in that story. That thought has become your fundamental belief about yourself and the world around you. It’s no longer just a passing thought, it’s “the truth”.
HANDLING ANXIETY SYMPTOMS & ANXIOUS THOUGHTS
Once you see it that way it’s only natural to handle anxiety symptoms and anxious thoughts in one of two ways. The first way is to go out and try to fix or change somebody, or something, or some circumstance so that you can stop feeling so anxious. The other way is to avoid the person, situation, or thing that you perceive to be what’s making you feel anxious. Both ways can work temporarily to some degree but the costs are high. In the first scenario, you will cause hurt or strain in your relationships with others or make short-sighted decisions that make you feel better in the moment but aren’t wise for you in the long term.
In the second scenario, avoidance is the main strategy, and the impact of that is that your life will begin to get smaller and smaller as your list of perceived “threats” of what will give you anxiety grows. As you avoid conflict or uncomfortable conversations or situations, you might temporarily feel less anxious but you will also begin to lose access to feeling joyful, inspired, and fully alive. You will begin to feel bored, uninspired, and unmotivated because you’re staying “safe” which puts more and more limitations on your life. You also might begin to have a lot of judgmental self-talk and maybe even lose respect for yourself because you’re not doing what matters to you. You’re just trying to avoid pain. You have essentially entered into a conflictual relationship with yourself.
WHAT MAKES ANXIETY WORSE?
So, you might think to resolve anxiety symptoms that you should keep thinking. That if you think through everything, then you can then figure it out and resolve it all. And then you can have peace. But usually, the opposite happens. More thinking is like a snow globe that you keep shaking up. All you can see is snow (fear). All you can think is your thoughts and all you can feel is the fear of those thoughts. You become unable to see the beauty of what’s actually there inside the globe. The trees, maybe the cute little house. In the same way, anxiety makes you blind to the actual beauty of your life. It makes everything that’s good invisible and highlights in huge neon colors all that it perceives as wrong, bad, or broken.
WHAT’S AT THE CORE OF ALL ANXIETY?
So what is actually at the core of all anxiety? Well, it’s essentially a fear of and resistance to pain, or to the perception of something that might cause pain. Pain can be anything. An uncomfortable emotion such as embarrassment, or an uncomfortable physical sensation in the body such as sweating or faster breathing or that pit you get in your stomach. It can be feelings of guilt, grief, rejection or an innumerable list of other feelings, emotions and experiences. As humans, we really just hate feeling discomfort and pain. We want to feel good all the time. We want to be comfortable. And that’s really the heart of the problem right there. No other species on the planet tries to run from discomfort and tries to create a constant cocoon of comfort and pleasure like we humans do.
One of the benefits of being an anxiety therapist is that I get to help my clients really start to feel better by helping them get to the root of their particular flavor of anxiety. It’s not enough to just read about anxiety in a general way or understand it on an intellectual level. You must meet your own fear and learn to work with it in a way that personally works for you as an individual. There’s no magical technique that works for everyone. A good anxiety therapist and life coach will have the skill to walk you through this process in a highly personalized way while recognizing that you are NOT broken and you DON’T need to be fixed. You are resilient and you can handle a lot more than you think. You just need a little guidance and support so you can start to live your life from a place of authenticity, power, and confidence.
HERE’S WHAT I RECOMMEND TO DO ABOUT ANXIETY AS AN ANXIETY THERAPIST IN LAS VEGAS
As an anxiety therapist in Las Vegas, I work with people that have anxiety by helping them find their solid ground. I help them learn to stop shaking the snow globe that creates more chaos, which creates more inner thoughts, which in turn creates the feeling of anxiety in your body. When you stop shaking the snow globe of anxiety, you can begin to find your Stillpoint within yourself. And that, my friend, is the beginning of a solid connection that can provide real stability for you as you weather the inevitable storms of life.
FINDING SOLID GROUND
In order to find your solid ground, learn to identify less with your in the moment thoughts and emotions and zoom out more to that place of the watcher that can notice it all. You can’t control what thoughts come into your brain but you CAN choose whether or not to give them your attention. Don’t try to control them, just let them be. Notice. Watch. Be. Remember that you are the thinker of the thoughts, but you are not the thoughts themselves. This way if there is something that is a concern, you can think through it and work through it, but not get sucked into the mire of anxious thinking. By doing this, you will be able to make decisions from a place of inner peace.
LIFE DOESN’T HAVE TO FEEL SO HEAVY AND STRESSFUL
Let's think about it this way. Imagine the sky. It’s always blue, but sometimes it rains, or sometimes it snows. So the weather changes, right? But, the sky doesn’t. The weather is like the thoughts and emotions you have. They are always coming and going. You're having happy, sad, exciting, and frustrating thoughts and emotions. But, you are not those thoughts and emotions. You are the sky. You are constant. You are the Stillpoint.
STOP GIVING THOUGHTS POWER
Thoughts only have the power that you give them. If you don’t feed them, they will eventually move on. So, the next time you have an anxious thought, don't feed it. Don't give it any power. Instead, observe it without judgment and let it pass. You can feel emotions and think thoughts without letting them hop in the driver’s seat and take over the direction you are driving. Notice them, allow them, and keep moving in the direction of where you want to go. Find your solid ground. Connect with the stillness within you. It is there, I promise.
CHANGING YOUR FUNDAMENTAL BELIEFS
If you want to change your fundamental beliefs, it will take time and effort. It’s totally possible to do this on your own but with the help of an anxiety therapist or life coach, you can get there a lot faster with a lot fewer pitfalls and mistakes. When your beliefs change your life changes. Beliefs are invisible fuel of creation. They power your choices and actions.
By working with a life coach and anxiety therapist, you learn to stay with what you’re experiencing in your body and in your emotions. You learn to get past the surface stuff, which are your thoughts and feelings. To let it all settle so that the core belief that’s driving and creating the anxiety can be seen. And once those core beliefs are seen and changed, it isn’t an exaggeration to say that EVERYTHING changes.
STILLPOINT’S PHILOSOPHY ON COPING STRATEGIES
At Stillpoint Therapy, we don’t really teach coping strategies very much because we want you to have a life that is full and rich and fulfilling, not a life you are “coping” with. Now that doesn’t mean there isn’t a time and place for a coping strategy once in a while to help you get through a tough moment. Or in the beginning of anxiety treatment to help you stabilize yourself emotionally if needed.
If you’re bleeding you need a band-aid. But just understand that coping strategies aren’t going to get you the results you want or the life you want. I can’t tell you how many people come into my Las Vegas Office having only learned coping strategies for anxiety symptoms and having no real understanding of what’s at the source of their anxiety or how to really work with it in a way that really works for helping them get to a place of true peace and wholeness.
Embrace Peace NOW.
When you stop being afraid of your inner experiences, you begin to find inner peace. You stop being at war with yourself and begin to embrace all parts of yourself. When you do that you begin to experience some really cool things like real confidence and self-worth. You stop worrying about all the things that MIGHT happen and begin to feel the abundance that life is giving you RIGHT NOW. You stop seeking to feel “something else” and become okay with feeling whatever you are feeling in THIS moment.
As you expand your capacity to embrace it ALL you give other’s the gift to do the same and people begin to feel really seen and safe and good with you. Life opens up in delightful and surprising ways and you find yourself welling up with compassion, joy, and inner unconditional freedom that no amount of emotional “weather” can destroy.
FACE YOUR ANXIOUS THOUGHTS & ANXIETY SYMPTOMS WITH THE HELP OF AN ANXIETY THERAPIST IN LAS VEGAS, NV
At Stillpoint Therapy you will learn how to address the root cause of your anxiety not just cope with it. As a life coach and anxiety therapist in Las Vegas, I can help you become your own stillpoint. With anxiety treatment, you will find get rid of anxious thoughts and anxiety symptoms. To get started just follow these steps
Contact me for a free consultation at Stillpoint Therapy.
Have your first meeting with an anxiety therapist.
Start living life full of joy and freedom!
OTHER SERVICES I OFFER IN LAS VEGAS, NEVADA
At Stillpoint Therapy, I offer several different options to support women in all stages of life. As a female therapist and life coach, I understand that you are exhausted, over-giving- and overworked. That is why I also offer therapy for moms, smart, single, and successful woman, and empty-nesters. I also provide individual therapy for relationship issues and life transitions. Additionally, I provide life coaching and enneagram coaching.
